she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
