So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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