shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
