he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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