90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
