I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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