Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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