Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
