They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
