He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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