Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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