she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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