If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
