I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
