Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
