i think my mom watched the whole time
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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