birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
