last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
