i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
