I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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