Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
