i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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