so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
