remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
