So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You can't motorboat a personality
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So apparently I’m into choking now
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize