do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
