Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
