they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
