My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
