You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
no, he came in my armpit
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
