She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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