If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
