Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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