wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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