yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
