This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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