Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
