Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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