I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
How does it feel to date your dad?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
