Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
