All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
