I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I am naked and annoyed.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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