look no pants
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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