Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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