yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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