oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
