my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
