rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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