The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
