Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
wow bdsm is so cute
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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