In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I did not marry a roomba.
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