plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
