I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
