I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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