My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
