i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
