Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
