Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
