spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We are two peas in an std pod
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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