I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
