I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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