Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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