Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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