She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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