I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize