Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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