the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
