I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
