I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
